Ambien. No doubt about it.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Two words: nipple clamps
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