At least make sure they are 18
Why
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
