I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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