About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
