Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Bring me that man meat
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
