I bet he comes in French.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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