So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
