I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
