Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
