i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize