what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
