I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I had to cum in my sink.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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