If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
