He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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