New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Damn victory sex feels great
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
