need another drink. this is the easiest way
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
