Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
