I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
