Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
i now understand why vodka
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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