is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
