Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I cut my penus on the lid.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
