Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I want to fling myself into the sun
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
