i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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