i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
