I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
