Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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