i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
