i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Randomize
