so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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