We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
no you cant smoke seaweed
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
