what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize