So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
