you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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