? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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