Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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