none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
