I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
