i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
