Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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