Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
