At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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