I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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