I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Hippo gnu deer
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
