Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
