You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
