I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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