You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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