East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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