Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
