"it" just moved
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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