i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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