Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
