Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
