im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
