Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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