I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
After tacos, we're chasing women.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
