i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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