whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
organizing the empties. That sober.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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