Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
