my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
