I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
